Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I need more flouride please

Ok, that title is sarcasm.  Just in case it's a little confusing.

Reading labels infuriates me. The crap that companies have the gall to label shocks me.  Who knows what isn't labeled either?  Many people on the board of directors at Monsantos are also on the board of the FDA.  Truth in advertizing?  Truth in labeling?  Really??

I hate wondering if this apple is really healthier than this McCheezburger (or worse way to ask, which is less poisonous?)  One or both have pesticides, growth hormones, chemicals, grown in polluted water... One is served with processed white bread substance made with high fructose corn syrup,  added ketchup with more high fructose corn syrup. (relish has high fructose corn syrup too)

I started avoiding high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) because it really makes my stomach hurt- for days.  Later I researched and found out that it is a chemical.  Studies show it is more addictive than cocaine (which used to be in Coca Cola-  now there is high fructose corn syrup)  It also leads to obesity and diabetes, heart disease, liver damage, and mercury poisoning.  And apparently a stomach ache.

I truly don't know what to eat.  My son and I are on food stamps, so can't be too finicky on this budget.  Why do we have to pay extra for non-chemical, non-poisoned foods?  Why is organic and natural pricier, when in other countries, it's the norm?  Why is high fructose corn syrup in ketchup, jelly, pancake syrup, relish, bread, canned fruits, yogurt..... and we have to pay extra to get foods without it?

Because they don't want us healthy.  They want us fat and docile, super-sized and ignorant.  

Yesterday I laid my head on the counter and cried.  How do I know what is best for me and my son?  What foods will nourish him?  How do I explain these things without scaring the hell out of him or crushing his spirit?  (what if I am really crazy, and someday I end up in a remote cabin with a bunch of cats, yelling at trees about our corrupt world?)

I am more sensitive, more aware lately.  Maybe it's because I had the opportunity to leave the country for a while and experience something simpler and more natural.  Maybe I have started to question and am learning too much about the state of the world.  Maybe I don't have enough flouride in me these days to sedate me and make me passive.  (flouride is a sedative that is more toxic than lead.  Flouride is one of the main ingredients in pesticides, teflon, and soy infant formula; it is commonly added to city water, toothpaste, and most non-organic produce.  Flouride has been linked to lower IQs, infertility, autism, cancer, and hardening of the arteries.  It also numbs the hippocampus part of the brain, the third eye, the intuitive balanced connected part of the brain.    Coincidence?)

Baaaaah. (sheep noise here.)

Why aren't people outraged?  We are being poisoned!!  Slowly methodically poisoned!
Oh, that's right, even if people knew this, they wouldn't care because they are too sedated.  Wow.


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

friends

Recently I have been feeling so thankful and blessed with the people in my life.  It feels like I am meeting more and more beautiful people; especially women.  I used to be intimidated by new clients (queasy nervous sweaty palms nauseous even!)  I suppose it's really just my improved attitude that has changed, or I am drawing more love into my world because I am putting out more love...  But I have met some of the most beautiful, tender, strong, amazing ladies lately.  I am honored they trust me, confide in me, share time with me, make space in their tight budgets to come see me... wow!

Today it occurred to me that the beauty of new friends is that they truly see you for who you are now, not who you were when you were 9 or 19 or even 39 (you know, hypothetically... wink wink)

I've learned that sometimes long term friends or family have a hard time growing with you.  Either they can't be objective, or it scares them to see you changing. I don't know why.  But I am beginning to like who I am, how I feel. I like being genuinely me and not trying to smash and stretch myself to fit into other people's expectations.  (of course I always knew this theoretically, but it feels good to know and believe it and live it).

Maybe before~ I was afraid to grow.  Or afraid that deep down I wasn't good enough and people would discover that I was a terrible fraud. Or that I was someone dark and ugly, pretending to be good.  But now I am just trying to grin, shrug my shoulders, and be real. No pretense, no trying to fit other people's judgments, no apologies for being beautifully human and imperfect.  I have no idea how it's working in the big picture, but I sure am a lot happier.