contemplating bothness (duality)

Random thoughts
Several days of ideas, inspiration, guidance, insight

Cherokee words:
Peace.  Be Still.

Friend (Marti): 
You are magnificent in your own quiet way.  
Not here to do, but to be.
Our wholeness, our light, is our gift.  How we do it is irrelevant.

Me:
This is the first time in my life 
I have been physically and emotionally safe.
Peeling off the layers to see what's inside.
Woooo!!
I think there is an inner child in there!

Friend (RiverEyes):
What do you really want to do when you grow up?
Me:  I want to play. Plant things.  Grow things.  Travel.
Lay in hammocks.  Swim in oceans.  
Sleep under the stars.  Visit fairies in forests.

Paradigm Shift:
To really manifest abundance 
we must use our hearts and minds.
Create a feeling of well-being in our hearts.  
This creates an electromagnetic field 
which aligns the universe with our intent. 

Me:
Everything that ever is and was and will be 
is being created in the now.   A hologram?
It's all recorded in our cells, our DNA, 
our palms, our tongues, our eyes (iridology?)
akashic records.
Our beliefs and thoughts control our present and can change the future,
but present is an illusion??  And all of it is in the blueprint of our DNA?

I have never felt more at one and connected,
yet alone and separate.
Powerful in my potential,
yet humbled by what I don't yet know.
And humbled by this human body and experience.
Being truly in the present, 
yet being mindful of creating and manifesting my future.
Do other people have thoughts like this??
How do I embrace the bothness and feel whole?


Friend (RiverEyes):
I release my will, my way
and surrender to Divine Will, Divine Way.


Close my eyes.  Surrender with grace.
Remember.  Peace.  Be still.

i wish for

New moon, solar flares, eclipse, super moon, magnetic frequencies, energy changes, big big shifts coming.

What do I wish to release this new moon?  All old fears, doubts, limiting thoughts about being less than and not worthy. I want to release baggage, memories that don't serve me, all that holds me back from my purpose, my higher good.  

What do I wish for, really really desire? A total transformation in the world.  All debt erased, back to real law, God's law, abundance and freedom for every human.

What does this really mean to me?  I wish desire dream long for... legal stuff to work out and disappear (student loans that aren't mine, being garnished...)  I wish we were all free to be, all names are clear from "debt". I wish for society that appreciates heart centered beings, resource based economy where we all share from our hearts and aren't tied to desks and debt.  Free energy too!

I wish for happy, connected, at peace, content, satisfied, home.  I wish for money for travel, treehouses, cabins, oceans, barefoot, jungles, fishing, beaches, swimming, laughing, freedom, singing, hammocks, music, dancing, campfires, moonlight, skinny dipping, star gazing, growing our food.

I want a happy now, a happy future, joyful celebrating.  And relaxed joyful living.  Is that too much to ask for?

a tiny treasure

I could get spoiled learning to meditate at medicine wheels and hot springs.  Last night the reiki group spontaneously went to hot springs to celebrate full moon.  I knew I needed to re-charge with the gentle moonligh.  Even though it was icy weather, and a two hour drive each way-off we went.

I lost my little medicine pouch :(  Forgot it was in my bra and it fell out, down to the water below, while I was changing in the dark and moonlight.  I wondered whether it was lost to remind me that I don't "need" it?  A friend said I am that crystal vibration already, I don't need objects or attachments any longer.  Still I am sad about losing it.

I also slipped and fell, tucked and rolled, tumbled unceremoniously from the slippery rocks into the cold water.  I was not badly hurt, but it was quite cold.  (Cold enough for my dress to freeze on the walk back to the car)

I drove back up to the hot springs today, I had already planned that trip for the day.  I laid in a warm pool, on the sand, my head on a large smooth rock.  I practiced deep breathing, grounding, did a circuitry connection meditation. I blended into the sand until my skin glistened with sand and I was invisible.  The water flowed over me and through me, and I melted into nature, connecting with all that is.  I pictured the sun warming me up, directly from the divine, filling up my cells with healing energy and love.  I pictured the water washing away anything that no longer serves me.  

I pictured my root chakra with vibrant cleansing blood... blood of the earth and of my body.  Sacral- sunset on the sand.  Solar plexus- warm yellow healing sun.  Heart- pink flower petals and a breeze to blow throughout my body.  Throat- a warm lake on a sunny day.  Brow-the lake at night, rippling water under stars  Crown- purple vast night sky of the universe.

I feel translucent, iridescent, light, airy, pure, gossamer.  I feel a glimpse of being a tree, water, air, sun, stars.  For the first time ever, it occurred to me to be thankful for this body.  Some souls never get a body, and I have one for a while.  I look at the sand on my skin, it reflects sunlight.  My eyelids close to protect my eyes from sun warmth.  My fingers make ripples in the water.  My braids are long enough to see, the ends are curly and dripping from laying in the pool.  I turn and lay my cheek on the warm smooth speckled rock.  I see freckles on my arm.  And the curve of my hip.  And ten toes, that are wiggly with joy in the sun.

I looked all over for my medicine pouch.  As I was drying off and changing into dry clothes, I thought... "If the stones in my pouch are meant for me now, they need to appear in my backpack... or..."   there it was!!    Down below, I saw my tiny medicine pouch, same color as the sand, under the water, with river rushing over it.  I crawled down, grinning.  
A tiny treasure!