Monday, January 15, 2018

big shifts

Stop!  My head is so full I am uncomfortable.
Shifts, new info, knowledge, 
dream-journeying (whatever that means)
I have a traffic jam of information
and I'm holding all these pieces 
and don't know where to put them.
I am full!
I am asking specific questions to my partner,
so I can see the bigger picture, 
so I can put the pieces down until they make more sense.
And he gives me more pieces.
I'm frustrated to tears, 
and don't know how to communicate differently.
I don't know if I'm not communicating clearly,
if he isn't hearing me,
if he isn't understanding me.
if he thinks more puzzle pieces will help me....
I don't know how to explain better.
I'm full on every level, I don't understand the big picture,
I don't know how to sort and assimilate-
these intense planetary energy shifts, downloads, info.
I'm hungry for the information and understanding,
the understanding doesn't happen well 
if I'm a traffic jam and so full I'm tense.
(it must be entirely frustrating for him to witness as well)
Every part of my body-
my thoughts, senses, energies, understanding, 
connection inside and out
are being re-wired and I'm f***ing confused.
I don't know how to communicate it or find relief.
How can I be a big being if I have so little comprehending 
and awareness of what's going on inside myself?
Plus creating a new world?
While functioning in the current world?
Manage all this (and pretend I'm fine, normal, sane)
and interact with other humans
schedules, work, jobs, chores, plan and dream my future,
be a present mom 
(friend, daughter, partner, companion, teacher, healer)
omg it's laughable yet I want to cry.

I need a stunt double.
Wait.  I have one, or many (my higher self and angel guides)
I don't know what they are up to.
Who is coordinating all this anyway?
They are all parts of me, 
I am exhausted just sensing all that is going on.
There must be a simpler way.

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