What am I supposed to be learning from so much pain and struggles?!
How can all these painful lessons be good for me? How can I come through this stronger when I don't even get a chance to stand up or catch my breathe between challenges, before I am knocked back down again, punched??
Universe, if you have a plan for me, must it be so painful that I lose all faith in humans? In humanity? That I doubt all that is good? That I am afraid to trust anybody? That I fear I am bad for my son?
He is watching and learning everything I am. How can I give him hope when I don't have any? How can I reassure him life is worth it when I myself don't believe it?
I give up. I surrender. God Source and universe, show me what to do. I am scared. If this is how the rest of my life is going to be, I am done. Please don't torture me with painful lessons and make my son watch.
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